Jazz Mag for Salmond’s New Scotland.
Words by Blethering Pish picture by Power to the Pencil.
Author Archives: Gordon
De Livery
I was recently asked to come up with a design for van livery for a company based here in Glasgow, at lunch I took a stroll out to check out vans in the city for inspiration when I stumbled upon this beezer. It looks like it was done entirely with electrical tape, a real treat of a colour scheme too of broon, yelly, black and red. These guys proudly boast that they do ‘home improvements’… would you trust them to improve your home?
Santa’s Chat Sack
One for all you disillusioned Santas out there.
Christmas with Gordon
Anyone else failing to get into the festive spirit this year? worry not, help is at hand from TV’s foul mouthed chef Gordon Ramsay who launches his new book, it’s got everything you need to know about getting to grips with your bird this year. Gordon gets a new one every year. I on the other hand have been with the same woman for 12 years now… now that’s dedication!
TweetA Claus for Concern
Just the other day at work, I attempted to voice a dilemma I expect to be having in a few years time when my own son will be old enough to be lied to. Should I lie to him about Santa Claus?
When I was wee, my older brother was pretty freaked out about the idea of a man he didn’t know coming down our chimney and into the house, my mum had to reassure him at an early age that Santa was fictitious, he soon relayed that onto myself and our younger brother. So if I ever did believe in Santa Claus it wasn’t for long and indeed I have no memory of ever believing in him.
Immediately my question was met with horror! I was accused of being ‘soulless’. What exactly is soulless about protecting my son from a fat, greedy Coca-Cola salesman who is meant to symbolise Christmas?
Santa for some, has come to personify all that is ‘magic’ about Christmas. What we define as being magical is the mystery preceding material gain.
This was while I was adding a Santa’s Grotto section to the website of a Shopping Centre, I was searching through the pages of a well known stock photography website, for a picture of a socially acceptable image of a Santa Claus. It was far from easy I can assure you, due to what I perceive to be acceptable for public consumption, thanks to a hysterical tabloid press.
Most look like sad old men pretending be something they are not and/or paedophiles. I mean, what is so wrong with an over 50 year old male wearing a Santa Clause outfit, with fake beard, hat and all the rest of it? quite a lot apparently.
Christmas time for me is about family coming together, about good food and plenty of drink. It used to also be about the world slowing down and I remember the days when shops were actually shut for a few days over the festive period. The over commercialisation of the festive period is disgusting and that I’m afraid is what Santa has come to symbolise. I want to protect my son from this for as long as I can.
TweetBoomeranger
Maybe it’s time I made ‘that’ call to the BBC’s Dragon’s Den… forget the Crapp App, nevermind Squarego, this is it, this is a concept that keeps on coming back. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you The Boomeranger – the boomerang that is also a coat hanger, two handy objects in one convenient package – it’s a coat hanger that you just won’t be able to throw out and a boomerang that is easier to catch… need I say anymore?
TweetWhen Is a Twix not a Twix?
anytwone for a twone?
Pimp my iPad
iPimp
I don’t have an iPad and if I wanted one and if I could spare the wonga, I sure as hell would not be buying it even if it is encased in ammonite, gold, diamonds and T-Rex bone. How the hell have these guys got away with using T-Rex bone anyway? – doesn’t that belong in a museum? or are fundamentalist christians denying the existence of such bone, insisting it is merely a test of their faith?
It turns out the guy that designed it is Liverpudlian which would suggest the components are stolen.
Well I still wouldn’t want an iPad if it was bound in Steve Jobs himself, a pouch for my iPhone using his ball sack however…
TweetSquare go anyone?
I’ve had an idea for a lucrative new toy that could take on the mighty Lego, it would be just like Lego but instead of having round bits, it would have square bits… I call this invention “Squarego”. I see it really catching on especially in Scotland, I can hear “Squarego!” being shouted in school playgrounds up and down this godforsaken country already.
Take Note
well, this combines two of my earlier posts perfectly, a new smartphone and hand drawing capability. Unless Apple come up with a phone with a stylus before my current contract is up, I gotta get me one o’ these…
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