Big Up yer Xmiss - 14/12/06
So the Pttp alt-X-mas cards really flew aff the shelves in time for for Xmas, didn't they? Whaaaaaat! is it just fifer's an' aiberdonian's that gee this [excuse for a] website a visit then? ya tight fisters yeez. still, I flogged a few at the 'Aberdeen Waldorf School Advent Sale' right enough, here's a 'timelapse' fae the side o' oor stall. Anywho, it would appear dread-locks are in the lead for the Barber poll, Waw - that's gonnae be mental, it's surely gonny get me plenty of jip and possibly a good do-ing, every further trip I make to the [Wild west o' the] kingdom - thanks! still, I cannae argue with democracy... sh*t! I might even start feeling a little McFedstive in the sprit o' it all soon... havenae felt that way for quite a few years, let me tell ye. Watching Nigela's Christmas Kitchen lastnight helped considerably... in every conceivable way.

Hamesick or jist Sick - 01/12/06
it's with a certain sense of shame and [in equal measures] pride, that I post a link to this 'A Tribute to Kelty Folk' for your viewing pleasure. See, i dinnae jist talk the wye ah dae fir laughs ken?

More o' Gogs on 4 - 01/12/06
Aw whit!? they've went and posted another yin - I'll be lucky to get my heed oot the door this morning!

Gogs on Channel 4 - 30/11/06
That's right, a wee politically satirically animationy thingamy of mine's has been selected for a More4 Political Satire project - check it out here.

Knives Oot - 28/11/06
Got back fae a weekend in Glasgow, shooting the video for Hamper's forthcoming single 'Lullaby'. It is going to be an absolute feast for the eyes [and ears of course], shot by two award-winning [no shit!] German filmmakers. I was blown away by the tiny wee bit of footage I managed to sneak a deco at and Louise, our singer looks uncannily like Uma Thurman on camera. Anyway, I got the train back up yesterday morning, sloped back into the flat, went through 18 emails, 16 of which were business related - it's nice to know folk care. I was in no frame of mind to be working so it was bath-time, then scran time. For din's it was a simple pasta bake, I enthusiastically chopped some garlic and some ingins with my favourite knife (which by the way is a Gary Rhodes job, I dinnae like Gary Rhodes, in fact if Fannyville only had one kitchen, he'd be it's chef but and it's a big but... he does endorse exceedingly good knives), these were then fried in olive oil, to which I added a couple o' tins o' peeled tomatoes, mixed that with the pasta, topped it with cheese, some cherry tomatos and basil then fired it all into the oven - about 45 minutes later I took a plate o' it and sat down to some laid back viewing courtesy of BBC's Crimewatch, it was either that or an animal testing documentary or I'm a celebrity... [which in some respects is the same thing], I don't have satellite, Freeview or any of the other nonsense so options are limited at the best of times. I watched the reconstructions of a Belfast women who was killed in her own home, stabbed in the chest with a screwdriver, then some CCTV footage of a guy who was shot at three times, the first two times he managed miraculously, to dodge the shots but while trying to run away he tripped! and was shot in the neck - poor, poor basturd... then this morning, after reading about the horrific attack on thon solicitor, killed by two teenagers!) I came to the conclusion that we are never ever going to cut out knife crime - it is a complete impossibility, knives and other sharp implements are around us all the time, meant for other purposes, they are always available, so if some psycho feels the need to carry such an implement to use it for something else, then he/she easily can do so. what are you gonnae do? ban all knives? how we gonnae chop our veg then? you gonnae ban screwdrivers? then every joiner and sparky in this country are going to go out of business and our kitchens are gonnae look like bomb-sites. It's a shit state of affairs to be in and all the banning in the world isnae gonnae make a jott o' difference. And so on to tonights viewing... 638 ways to kill Fidel Castro.

Theived Video Freed - 22/11/06
I've posted a new vid on YouTube - old song, new vid - spurred on by my wee bro who mercilessly pinched this tune and juxtaposed it with some radical far-left imagery, and for the fear of it being completely misinterpeted, here it is, even further...

Remarkable - 07/11/06
A Hoegaarden followed by a Stella, tastes remarkably like a ritz cracker.

Bunch o' Bankers - 03/11/06
show your bank who's boss, if you've been charged off 'em in the last 5 years follow these links and demand all of them back. I did and "as a gesture of goodwill" they have refunded all, totaling 200 quid... and with the winnings... I aim to celebrate!

Kenny Baw - 01/11/06
I aint much of a jazz man but there is some fantastic innuendo at work here.

The Cauld - 31/10/06
Nae guising for me this year, I have the cold.

Excuse Me - 30/10/06
...but why are kids of a school age [!] petitioning MSP's about alcohol being cheap!? there is something very fishy going on here! it won't be that in a few years time when they are taking full advantage of students' pound-a-pint-nights - providing they'll still exist!
I, like the majority of adults in Scotland, like a wee drink from time to time and do it responsibly [Ok, maybe not all the time but I don't go looking for fights and smashing up bus-stops etc, well not since my mid-teens anyway] I already think we pay way over the odds for it! schoolies should start getting humpty about issues they can reasonably comment on from experience, like zits, the pythagorus theorem or bebo.

Luscious Bird - 19/10/06
just finished a bowl o' soup there. A cheeky wee tomato-broth type-thing made wi stock fae the carcass ay an orgasmic chicken I got yesterday. It was totally satisfying... partly from a moral point of view but mainly because it hit the spot, one that is so often missed these days. I fired to the supermarket lastnight, to get some 'tuna' - low and behold they had an organic chicken marked doon tae 4 squid, fae 10 [it was nearing it's sell-by-date] - there was no ignoring that. tuna can just get tae f*ck!

I hardly ever eat chicken these days, my Mrs is pretty strict about when she eats it, she never buys it unless it's organic, free range and aw the rest o' it. It's usually twice the price but if an animal has to be slaughtered, ye'd rather it had been treated reasonably well, before it gets topped - wouldn't you?

The more and more I eat meat these days the guiltier I feel. I f*ckin love the stuff. My special lady is pretty much vegetarian so often I am eating what she likes, even cooking my favourite dishes but withoot the meat, occasionally I'll get a craving for a slab of the bloody-stuff and with nae time to waste, I'll hoor it doon tae Somefield like a dug posessed, growlin' and droolin' till I get hame and get the meat on the heat.

I try and justify it to myself, I am a carnivore and by definition I eat other animals or atleast their meat, to survive, just look at the animal kingdom, they're all out there, scrannin one another, we are but beasts. This is where I get f*cked up tho: yes we are beasts but us humans are 'advanced' beasts - we have the brains to choose, there is plenty of vegetation that we can eat in place of meat. But like I said, I like meat, occasionally, I love a steak or a pund a' mince whipped into a chilli or a bolognese [as you know only too well] i try to make it an occasion as much as possible.

It just really bugs me how meat is presented in supermarkets - with all the blood drained out of it, look at chicken - it's almost transparent! most people wouldn't eat it if it wasn't - don't want to be reminded that this was once part of a living thing. We're less and less interested in the whole process, we seek end-product only. That's what meat is, just another product, another money making exercise and by buying it, I'm endorsing it... that's what's making me feel guilty!

Native American's honoured the animals they hunted, believing the animal would somehow live on through them - mind that yin the next time you're in KFC.

Get tae Wurk! - 27/09/06
That time in the morning between waking up and going to work is without a doubt, my least favourite. Check my routine here - it's a tough life!

Vote Hamper - 26/09/06
Vote for hamperband.com, click here then click on the BT Music Awards Link. Dinnae worry, it's free, it's painless and ye willnae be badgered wi' spam - unless you want to be!

Bolt! - 22/09/06
Check this rather appropriately named runner on the left, dunno about the boy on the right tho...

Beamin - 20/09/06
Yelly jaikets, stolen bicycles, rodent infestations, offers of employment, blasts fae the past, communisism, man! what a mental few weeks it's been. Hamper played a couple of gigs; one in Dundee which wiz a waash-oot - naeb'dy there but the other bands and bar staff. the Glesgae gig was a belter - made up for the last time we played in sleazy's, that's fir sure. We've also met someone who wants to be our manager - very promising! In between, Andrea and I borrowed my bro's camper van for a wee break, which was an absolute treat, I don't think I've ever driven as much in fact, I think that's more driving than I've ever done in the 10 years of having a license. I've never particularly liked driving but driving a VW camper is different class, it feels like a bus, there's nae power steering or any of that kind of mince and there's nae pressure to get ahead, only lovely floatiness and the unmistakable camper comradery. Photo's from said trip are here.

ScotsItalians - 18/08/06
Bringing quality ice cream to Scotland for generations. I can think of atleast four guys that I went to school with, who were all of separate italian decent, their parents all sold ice cream. It was magic! Divito's is still the best tho.

Far Ye Bin Min? - 17/08/06
Well, we were in Oxford last weekend for a wedding, and how frightfully lovely it was too! Oxford isnae bad itsel' [if yer steamin] if it wasnae for aw the toffs, prof's and scoffs. The place has a real studenty/touristy vibe, reminded me of Galway a wee bit, just a tad more prestigious and not half as bohemian or as cool infact, f*ck all like Galway. I feared there was a chance of getting lamped as I pranced around in the full Highland regalia, a tartan rogue element in an otherwise spiffingly splendid setting, get it right up yez! mind you, I got plenty of attention fae Japanese tourists and was asked to pose for quite few photos, if I had charged a quid a time, I would have made atleast... eight quid.

I've posted two new tracks up on me myspace. An 'album' is actually becoming a reality after all that farting about, not touching the swally in the evenings helps tremendously. I am changing my ways and reaping the benefits. This site will bear a wee juke-box soon that will preview all 12 of the tracks.

Business is going well, if a bit sporadic. I was doon at me adviser's this afternoon, putting the finishing touches to my business plan, which was turning out to be a right albatross by the way, too busy trying to actually to run the business than to write about it.

Go see this movie it's hilarious! side-splittingly so!
thon Zidane movie has been scheduled for UK release end of September. It's an "art house" movie and not for die-hard footy fans hoping to have swaatch beneath that stoney exterior of ZZ, apparently. Just the sort of thing that will blow your mind as you sit comatosed, eyes fixed to the screen, drooling, after about 5 stella's. Bliss!

So it's down to Glasgow this weekend with Hamper, cannae wait, we'll be jammin' some new material - this is probably the most enjoyable bit of playing in band.

Ba Dam Da Bam - 06/07/06
It hit me today just how much freedom I have granted myself, I've been "freelancing" now for three weeks and things are really starting to click. Done a TV ad last week [not like directing a commercial or anything, just a wee 10 second flash animation thingy] have earned plenty follow-up work from 'em too [a major media presence in Aiberdeen]. The whole self-employment thing [from being employed] was a scary leap to take but a necessary one, I'm experiencing a mixture of relief and excitement right now and low and behold, I hear the summer might be on it's way. Life is good.

I suppose It's all about where your priorities are [having nae ties and a supportive partner certainly helps], mine are not with money, I find all of that bollocks a real hassle to be honest - having to work for a living, working to live, living to work... whatever. Who the f*ck decided this for me? and for us!? whoever he is, he deserves to die in front of his children... [thank you Bill Hicks, your work is equally inspirational, as it is reassuring]

I've just had one of the most amazing weekends with Hamper too, we've recorded three new [and one classic] songs, that should be ready for an EP release or maybe a single [we havenae decided yet] in the coming weeks. We're also gonnae be gigging as much as possible, so watch oot fir us in your neck.

The handy power to the stencil skills have also been commisioned. I've been asked by the sound guys at Musical Vision, [now they really are sound guys!] to give their entrance a 'once over' - easy now! I'm gonnae spray like mad man on their big, shiny, slidy door which at present is completely naikit!

Well, an Italian-French final, who would have thought it ay? further respect has to go out this man.

I cannae get over how great this new track is, me and my man Marko knocked it up on saturday night [he on guitars and xylophone, me on dance beats duty and vox], it's quite a departure fae the usual hamper racket, but a cheeky wee dancy number nonetheless. This is extra to what was done in the studio and is available for download for sweet f*ck all. Gx

Walk The Fine Line - 25/06/06
I found 'im by the rail-road trayack this mawnin... Joaquin Phoenix, eat your heart out!

Cabin Fever - 11/06/06
Parrot-toed pauper-born morning-bright nag-tailed never-resting ore-smelting mild-mooned open-windowedness onion smut mighty-spirited never-swerving mid-wicket organ swell mist blue New-englandism oyster-culturist water-soluble nitrogen-fixing nook-shotten nimble-winged oak-clad panic-struck night-haunted noble-fronted Moeso-goth pale-blooded Mumbo-jumboism Non-brahmanical mid-town ninety-three one-on-one mid-sole nail-paring oblong-lanceolate Non-pythagorean methyl ether payment bill open-kneed pallid-gray. Outside left pain-free Non-sanskritic mui-tsai Midsummer day nurse frog parent metal oil varnish nectar bird peace mop-up nigh-spent next best noble-tempered...

...now I know how Claire Short felt.

Ursus Arctos Horribilis - 29/05/06
Watched an incredible film at the weekend - Grizzly Man - it's a cracker, about a dude who lives in the Alaskan wilds with bears, in what he reckons is "protecting" them but it all ends in tragedy - for his Mrs too - it's got a bit of a blair witch feel about it - how it's been made up from footage filmed afore he cops it - except that this is true of course - powerful stuff!
other than that, noone can whack a 'rooney timeline'

Theory for Everything - 24/05/06
My girl reckons that 'heavy' bits in music are wholly unnecessary. Take Mogwai for example, in her opinion these guys are all great musicians, like artists that can draw really well but by playing heavy or 'noisy' they are deliberately drawing badly. An interesting theory don't you think? I like the craply drawn bits though. What's more, she doesnae particularly like my latest demo up on myspace, apart from the 'middle bit' and the bit right at the end [when it's over]. Saw some guid bands at the tunnels last night including the amazing Jeniferever - they are incredible!

Bono Bashing - 15/05/06
No not me, not today, only words of support [fourth from bottom] - check the three comments below tho - the bitterness is so thick ye can stir it wi' a stick!. If you do nothing else on the interweb today, check Hamper's new intro - volume required!

Twenty Eight - 10/05/06
Happy Birthday to me, Squashed tawties and pee, I look like a monkey that fell oot it's tree.

Aye thatin there - 05/05/06
Check the vid for "Thisin" below, I also added a few others that have been kicking around - oh the joys of flash video!

Brand Spanking - 03/05/06
in a burst of productivity lasting only a few hours on saturday, I wrote and recorded [all components - including drums] for 'thisin' - new tune. It might have something to do with the TV being permanently 'off'. I read in the 'Indepedia' that by the age of 75, the average British male will have spent 12 years [continous 24 hour-a-day viewing] of his life, watching TV.

So Much for the City - 02/05/06
So there I was last night, off for a stroll, up past Hazlehead Academy, right up to the 'Golf Links' area. I turn off the beaten-track to sit on a dyke and watch the sunset, at the back of the dyke is a wee neuk of trees, there's a fair bit of rubbish lying about - old clothing, empty jars, bottles, beer cans etc. I look right through the trees to the fence on the other side and there are jackets hanging on the fence, I shit myself because it resembles a human figure, I'm pretty freaked by now but really curious at the same time, I recall my dad telling me a story of finding a body on Harran Hill in Fife, I'm thinking now it's my time to be initiated into the corpse club. I walk closer, I can make out sheets of corrugated-iron propped up at the base of some trees, like some half-arsed attempt at building a shelter, the smell of passed campfires is rife, I'm thinking maybe someone's been for a sly bonfire, I get closer still, there's more rubbish, loads more and it's centralised around this area, there's an auld metal pail, that is worn out from many fires, I'm practically in the wee structure when I see a long man-shaped bag - some rubber-like material being used as a body/sleeping bag and it's mawkit!, my eyes scan it's length, it moves! a man sits' up from this pile of filth and says "what ye wantin!" I apologise to the auld geezer, who I now recognise, I've seen him mincing around Mannofield, covered in filth, drinking beer - he looks like a miner, one that really needs a bath, this is obviously his house I've just stumbled into. I tell him I'm just out for a walk, I ask him if he's OK, he says, "aye" "do ye need help?", he's limiting his answers to one words, he says "naw" I say, "de ye want me to just leave ye alain" he says "aye", so I do, thoroughly freaked out. There ye go, a man living up the wids! who's definitely not Ray Mears and is not big on conversation.
fascinating! what drove him to abandon everything? was it the drink? probably. I feel pretty sorry for the guy, what the f*ck does he do all day? if he really wanted a half-decent shelter he could have made a bit of an effort - maybe he's just never been given the chance to acquire the knowledge. I'm intrigued to find out more - I feel obliged to offer him a bath, a decent meal and a night's kip on my couch but there's a danger he might get attached! - the exact reaction I, a member of modern British society would have - worrying about myself, the same society this man has boycotted.

Hamperoids - 02/05/06
photos are up from Hamper's recent Irish tour.

Couch Tawty - 28/04/06
There is a sadistic satisfaction to be had from seeing the tabloids mauling a fat, useless waste of political punch such as John Prescott. It's gonnae be a strange, long and drawn-out death for New Labour and it all seems to be happening uncannily like the demise of the Tories 10 year ago.

So, I got hame lastnight to find a fluffy flee-bitten feline, pussying about my flat, making itself right at hame. My special lady is doing a colleague a favour by cat-sitting for a fortnight - Great! i wouldn't mind so much but it's litter tray is in the bathroom and I'm reminded that outside provides cats with better shite-burrying material.

I haven't watched any telly in over a fortnight, I didn't watch a bit when we in Ireland last week and haven't felt the need to switch the gogglebox on since coming back - it feels great, during the little free time i do get to myself I am infinitely more inspired. It's been TV turnoff week too!. Gonnae try and keep it going for as long as possible - I can play DVDs on my laptop so might stick the telly in storage. It's true, as Bill Hicks once said, watching TV is like spraying black paint on your 3rd eye. So I'll be fully expecting to see into the future soon, keep yer eyes peeled for Power to the Pencil's prediction potato... biscuits or somethin!

We are Rock and Roll - 26/04/06
// FRIDAY got the wheels / shifted / Pete Dundee / drums Kelty / Mark Edinburgh / Stranraer ferry / Belfast aw lit up / Belfast to Dublin / lost / unlost / Ropewalker / Louise / Welcome. // SATURDAY Glorious morning / coast Dublin / palm trees / practice / 'dart' train / wander / exploring / Guiness magic / cooked a storm / chilled out. // SUNDAY pier / old folk / dip / gear town / sound check / slap up / Morrissey / swordfish / played / hoaching / nerves / 'Free' / rider / taxi back. // MONDAY for Thomastown / buzzin / Kilkenny / Eddie Murphy / friendly / deeper Ireland / interested / gig / lock-in / locals / demo Cd / bar staff / Jeiger bomb / plopped / oner / eccentric / mill / artists / piano. // TUESDAY Morning proud / dip river / pesky clothing / dive-bombed / leisurely drive / Galway / west coast / sea / excited / fired / set up shop / pitched tents / evening cooking / scrannin jammin / kippin. // WEDNESDAY wee city / Christopher Columbus / beyond Europe / bustling / artists musician / hippies / bo-ho creative / freedom / postering / gig / practiced / easy / kites etc. // THURSDAY Richardson's / Eyre Square / Fia Rua / stories / effortlessly hilarious / best / sound / folk / crack / magic / lock-in / Celtic fan / nuts / Scottish. // FRIDAY prep for party / mate / bad-boy / loads of folk / acoustic set / piano / snare / hats / compost bag / a storm! / free-for-all / Johnny Cash / Rebel songs / atmosphere. // SATURDAY gruelling drive / Belfast / Moira / countryside-wise / venue / eventually / bands / Remains of Youth / exhausted / quiet night / opposite / bit of a dump / Beirut. / SUNDAY up VERY early / ferry out / heart breaking / hame!

Get Tae Rock! - 13/04/06
That's me off on tour wi' me band, ya dancer! Happy Easter!

Shot Gun Willy - 10/04/06
personal messages: bad, advertising messages: good - I know what bus I'd rather be on.

I had a pound a piece on two horses during Saturday's Grand National, completely picked at random: Shot Gun Willy at 100-1, I saw the name, it had to be a good omen! he was in the lead for the first 13 gates but bottled it at the 18th. The other was Numbersixvalverde at 11-1, who burst through at the penultimate gate to snatch victory... money for auld rope, lovely jubby etc. etc.

This time next week, Hamper will be in Thomastown, Ireland probably sound checking for our second gig. To say I cannae wait is an understatement!

I was getting all inspired, by a new series thon Ray Mears is doing, last week he was finding out about the Bielski community. During the Nazi's invasion of eastern Europe, three Jewish bro's who witnessed the execution of their parents bolted in to the woods, they adapted entirely to living in the forest and went undetected. It was the sheer endurance of the human spirit that got me - pity it takes brutal circumstances for us to appreciate it, sometimes.

Next Big Thing - 3/03/06
I had a wee bit of correspondance going on a certain member of a certain excellent rock band who are back from the brink, I fired a long shot at asking if Hamper could do a support slot for them during our sold out world tour o' the Emerald Isle. Anyway, he said 'naw!' but "maybe next time" - doesnae hurt to ask tho ay?

here's my review of the show at the Tunnels, Aberdeen last night: first band - unknown heroes: shite. Lunar: tight but shite. the Cazals: awright. There was some 'rock an' roll' activity with the groupies going on in the backstage area afterwards. through the crack in the door it looked as if there was a bit snorting or sucking or both going on...

go on the gretna!

Sold Out 28/03/06
I am by no means selling my soul to the devil, I am merely doing a bit of mental spring-cleaning. It is essential to do so every now and again, in order to move on. I was down at my mum's at the weekend and gave the loft a bit of a clean oot. I went through my portfolio from art college and the portfolio I used to get in. It was a cringe-worthy experience to be honest but tearing up the worst of it [which was most of it] and disposing of it has had a cleansing effect. The main reason I was there was to check that my drum kit was all in one piece and fit for taking to Ireland only to batter f*ck out of it next month, for Hamper's world tour. Anyway the best of what I could find is only getting damp or collecting dust, so I may as well try and flog it. I've put this and this up on ebay - these, I'm sure will appear a little obscure to a lot of folks but the exercise is for curiosity's sake. I've got about a dozen things that I wouldnae mind flogging somehow. I would prefer they went somewhere where they might be appreciated rather than sitting idle, taking up room in my auld dear's hoose.

Walk the line - 22/03/06
Respect has got to go to this guy - doing something incredible! and here's me thinking walking home from a night on the lash is a hassle. I'm surprised to not see Adbusters seizing the opportunity to promote an American actively doing something positive, they could even give 'im a pair o' their sneakers to walk in.

Check the hell out of the new hamper site, not long till our world-tour of Ireland now.

Pholy Hole - 21/03/06
I left my portfolio in a pub in Glasgow yesterday and didn't remember till i was on the train hame, aw Baws! still, the new hamper website will be launched tonight, that's if my ISP lets me upload stuff despite me still owing them this year's fee. Call me a buftie but I watched Spirited Away at the weekend (as recommended by my special lady friend) and I thoroughly enjoyed it, in fact, it I thought it wiz pyoor magic! it has given me goo, fuzzyness, new dreams, the challenge and the means to escape - what more does a man want?

Paddy 'n' Mach - 17/03/06
Wouldn't it have been more fitting for the no-smoking ban to come into effect on Ash Wednesday? - that might distract attention from the true meaning of Ash Wednesday tho, which is what? it's the first day of lent, that's what and don't you think it's strange to have St Patricks' day during the Lent period? maybe going guiness-free is the last thing Irish Catholics would be doing.

Dundee's Art school is about to have a very cool new addition. I saw some large creations during my time as a studious-type there, nothing quite this big. I think it is a great idea and will certainly liven up a previously unremarkable building. It will also add something else to gaze at from the windows of Drouthie Neebors - a boozer I should have just given my student grant to, at the beginning of the academic year to save complications.

It's St paddy's night and I'm swithering wether to go to a party I've been invited to, I'm just feeling a wee bit run down just now, I've had this humungous mouth-ulcer for about a week and a mutant head-cold that has, since yesterday, robbed me of my sense of taste and smell - not such a bad thing when you live in Aberdeen.

By the way, I really can't get over how good the new Mogwai album is. It's their best yet in my opinion. F*ckin Monstrous!

Glasgow Mega Snake 09/03/06
ahh... lovely, nothing quite like compiling a memorials brochure to remind of your own mortality at the end of the week.. and what a week it's been, a short yin! was off work Tuesday/Wednesday, was down in Glesgae to see Calla among other things, they were tremendous, they played King Tut's - quite a wee venue - they even had to tidy and put away their own gear after the gig - this surprised me, I got it into my head that they were huge [being fae New York and pals of Interpol an' all], especially after going to see My Latest Novel last night who did have a roady - just one mind you, still... who the f*ck are My Latest Novel? they are obviously fans of Belle and Sebastian and have listened to Arcade Fire's Funeral on more than one occasion. They pulled out as many obscure instruments as they could get their mitts on including a Glockenspiel, a blowy-recorder-keyboardy thing, there was even a bit of whistling and clapping, it was good but it reminded me of an insane english teacher I had at Beath High, he'd "get out " various instruments from time to time and do a bit of a variety act - they were far from the days, let me tell you. This weekend I'll be mostly listening to Mogwai's Mr Beast... I'd advise you to do the same.

Spring? yer arse - 03/03/06
Snow, snow, snow... when will ye go?

Shaun Watch - 02/03/06
So where was the wee man last night? how come he wasnae playing for his country? nae idea. I do know where he was last week tho - he was home in Aberdeen, I seen him get out of his BMW X3 [car on steroids] and nip into Somerfeld in Mannofield. If you spot shaun, be sure let us know!

So there's a few feet of snow here in Aberdeen and there's more in the post, James Blunt played the AECC last week and 'silenced his critics' [according to Lindsay McIntosh of the P&J] apart fae this one! he's a prick and his music is shite, he is a music industry slut-puppy whored into regurgitating the scraps from the middle-of-the-road, he can f*ck right off and stick his Brit award up his drafty arse. And no Lindsay, I'm not an NME reader, these opinions are my own.

Another weekend with the [soon to be restructured] Hamper in Edinburgh to look forward to, then down to Glasgow next week to see Calla, on returning i really hope the snow will have gotten tae f*ck, it's not that I don't like snow, on the contrary, I am a child in the snow but the fuss us brits make of it is pathetic, It takes me 2+ hours to get to work, travelling by seriously disrupted public transport, then I sit at work all day listening to reports on radio of the 'chaos' a few inches of snow is causing drivers, occasionally interrupted by 'hits' by wait for it... James Blunt... damn you lord!

Please listen to and comment on my tunes here

Fun with Junk Mail - 28/2/06
bastard son of Gloucester, tricked him into believing that his dog was his wife and vice versa. Just wanted to ask a quick something of you: have you been getting a bunch of phone calls in the afternoons about your piling bills? are your bills keeping you from sleeping? mine's have and Victor's too. Well, at least that was until we stumbled upon these. They were great and helped us in making them all go away. It really changed our lives and stopped us worrying.
You can thank me later,
Candelaria

Wickedy wickedy - 22/02/06
15 thousand grands for a logo? f*ckin tosspots! I would have done it for a couple o' pints worth.

Went and saw thon Walk the Line on Saturday - it was magic! I really liked it - i was really impressed with Reese Weatherspoon, I've only ever seen her in chick-flicks before this, she takes on a great character, who I have been told was very much like the real June Carter. the film has really come a good time for me, my big bro gacve me a wee compilation of his favourite Cash tracks, it didn't take me many listens to get into it. I never know how wild that sh*t was, or how fascinating a character Johnny Cash was/is. Check his website out by the way, There are some great clips - check the vid for 'hurt' out too.

Finely Cut - 14/02/06
This'll give you an idea of the card I'll be giving my special-lady-friend today - only the best for my valentine!. She is working her little butt of all day today so I'm afraid she has blown her chance of being romanced or taken for a fancy meal or anything.

Go on, have a listen to some tunes I have up on myspace, tell me what ye think, if ye don't have an account then I'd recommend signing up - it's free. Hamper have an account too.

Faith ay? - 08/02/06
The reaction to the muhammed-bashing cartoons acts as a stark reminder to us "westerners" that we should not judge others by our own standards. Yes, I think the Danish newspaper was exercising the right of freedom of speech but I think the French and German papers were wrong to publish 'em all as an act of defiance, they are rattling a big f*ckin' cage here. This only reinforces my belief that all forms of faith are fundamentally daft, I do however, respect everyone's right to believe in what they like and so i willnae go pissing on any of 'em. I am just a wee bit concerned where this is all going, I am sitting here watching the whole thing 'snowball', now an Iranian newspaper is holding a competition for cartoon's on the haulocaust.

Can we all just chill oot! start by watching the first full trailer for catholic-bashing the Da Vinci Code. I enjoyed reading the book so am quite looking forward to seeing this. It is after all, non-fiction, so believe what ye like. One thing's for certain tho, the movie will be met with controversy as much if not more than the book, particularly it's portrayal of the Opus Dei sect - an organisation of which our education secretary Ruth kelly is a member - eggstremist? you be the judge.

On a similar note, Mel Gibson has just bought his Haulocaust-denying father a church in Pennsylivannia, for an "ultraconservative Roman Catholic congregation" ... and we were all getting on so famously.

Chicken Sarnie - 30/01/06
I sent a wee email out of curiousity to Co-op a couple of weeks ago, after buying one of their Chicken Salad sandwiches, As always I read the back to see what's actually in it and for the origin's of the ingredients. I was pretty concerned that the chicken came all the way from Brazil! and the Salad fae the EU, I mean f*ck sake! these two wee wedges of snackery are extremely well travelled, so what about that carbon footprint? Well, I was quite impressed to receive this response today:
Dear Mr. MacPherson,
I am writing further to your enquiry about the sourcing of the ingredients in the chicken salad sandwich you purchased from your local Co-op petrol station. I hope the following response from the suppliers of this sandwich will answer your questions:
1) Air miles; The cooked chicken is shipped by sea, the most fuel efficient form of transport. The main component of chicken feed is soya. This generally comes from N. or S. America so assuming a feed conversion rate of 10 to one for soya to chicken breast fillet, far fewer food miles are travelled if the finished cooked chicken is imported rather than it's feed. The processing factory in Brazil uses renewable coppiced timber as a fuel, UK factories use electricity, largely from fossil fuels, or gas.
2) Rearing conditions; Poultry farms are much smaller than in the UK with only one or two growing houses and much lower stocking densities. The sheds have open sides allowing better light and ventilation than in the UK and generally have earth floors not concrete. The weather is warmer so no fuel is used to heat the houses. The farmer is supplied with the young birds, the feed, and any necessary medication by the processing company so all can be carefully controlled. The price to be paid for the chickens is agreed before the contract commences.
3) EU Salad; Salad is generally sourced from the UK during the growing season. Obviously we cannot grow lettuce and tomatoes  in the winter months. Cucumbers can be grown year round in the UK but the energy costs are horrendous. In the winter our salad comes from Spain and the Canaries. Sea and Road rather than Air transport is used and we use the same growers season after season.
Yours sincerely, JR, Customer Relations.

So there you have it, supermarkets are run by beautiful, considerate people who care more for the earth and suppliying quality products to responsible consumers than making any money... your arse?

Whale of a time - 24/1/06
Today, anti-terror police seized these plans in a London flat earlier today. The minister of transport and his colleague have been taken in for questioning.

Best Days Behind - 23/1/06
these days I am mostly concerned with where all that sensitivity I had as a child has gone, I was so heavily burdened with it and an uncontrollable excitement for the promise an average day would hold. I could readily be found losing my breathe at the sheer infinity of sunsets, the stars or the blue, blue sky... stuff I didn't understand and didn't want to.
Is it just that I'm getting older? or has it been crushed out of me over the last 10 years by the slow consumption of several hundred liquid tonnes of alcohol and a increasingly cynical perception of the world, with thanks to the british media? Sure, ignorance is bliss but I can't shut myself off from what is happening to our wonderful world, it is encumbered by eejits, they are killing it, they are killing the child within us and we're letting them get away it, in fact we thank them for it, smile as we're off on our way on pay day.
I am less aware of people and their needs now, I've never cared less, I am becoming more and more concerned for myself and I am scared I can't push myself. Childhood is over, everything is as dull as it ever was but now, all of a sudden, it's acceptable to believe that. I am Winston Smith, kneeling before that mustachioed c*nt's face, crying out "I love you Big Brother"
I see now why good fathers and their father's fathers keep themselves occupied for every waking minute, it does a man no good to be idle, to have time to think like this.
Still, keeps ye oot the boozer ay?

Slow Down - 17/01/06
take it easy sinners!

Totally Original - 16/01/06
Shallow Grave and Trainspotting gave Glasgow and Edinburgh to the world, now Night Driver threatens to give you Aberdeen, oh yes! a shadowy flight into the world of a movie that shouldn't exist, the movie of the Night Driver.

Sinking Feeling - 13/01/06
it's common for anyone who buys any Apple product to feel that their purchase very quickly becomes obsolete, 4 month's after I [very luckily] managed to get a replacement powerbook after a tragic accident, this comes out, 4X faster than the powerbook! well F*ck me!

When hunting for your animals in the dark proves too difficult comes: glow in the dark pigs, made in taiwan.

Georgey boy has kind of blown it now ay?

Nut Job - 11/01/06
Check my wee bro's movie debut out. I would describe this as "Naked Rambler meets the Fall Guy", you have been warned!

Gordo's Glory Pork - 09/01/06
Serves 4-6. Slice 4 pork chops into thin strips, mix in a bowl with chopped garlic, chopped ginger, a sprinkle of chill powder and olive oil, allow to marinade. Slice 1 large red onion, fry in olive oil, add the marinaded pork, brown the pork, add 2 tins of chopped tomatoes, add chopped celery, lower heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes, taste, season as required, add green beans, stir, cover and simmer for a further 10 minutes. Garnish with freshly chopped coriander, serve with rice and pitta bread. Braw!

otherwise there's spontaneous gay sex to a blistering tune here.

Victims - 08/01/06
Right, I've made up my mind: George is the man and he should win Celebrity Big Bro but you just know he won't. It was his idea to do 'introductions' it was then I realised the chasm that exists between this man who lives by standing up for what he believes in [wether you agree with him or not] and then all these other 'celebs' none of which I'd heard of [apart from Michael Barrymore] who are 'in it to win it' for themselves and to somehow, kick-start otherwise stalling careers, well maybe apart from thon Maggot but he's so f*ckin mild, what's he got to say? he'll probably win it tho, since he's in an ironic Hip-hop group and doesn't give a f*ck.

I started watching thon movie Monster today, man! it is heavy! I had to stop half-way as it was starting to make me feel ill, I couldn't deal with the spiraling injustice. I remember seeing a documentary a while ago about the real Aileen Wuornos, who I believe has now been executed in the U.S. What came clear to me was that this women was a victim of a highly unsympathetic system, who got no support whatsoever and had no where to go, was forced into positions [no hooker pun intended] that resulted in her killing her punters. Her ways were the product of a system and yet the system would ultimately end her. Jesus!

Also, I see Charles was left with no option in the end but to bail out, poor bastirt! I thought the Lib Dem's were different from the other "main" parties but it appeared they had a whole sleaze campaign on stand by if Chucky boy decided to stay as leader, so f*ck! he's a politician that likes a drink, didn't William Hague boast he used to drink 14 pints a day and cycle home? what about Winston Churchill, didn't he drink gallons of Champagne? Gee the guy a break for f*ck's sake, he's fae Fort William - what else is there to do in Fort William apart from drink?

Extinguished - 06/01/06
No way! Michael Barrymore is on Celebrity big brother! last chance saloon for him ay? here, why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ashtrays round his gaff? cos he puts his fags out in the pool. George Galloway is on it too, what is he all about? I still dunno if I should be dislikin this man, he's pretty gallus tho, you've got to gee him that. A certain Helen Mirren is far from happy about it, what the f*ck has it got to do with her anyway?

Happy Birthday to Stevie!, my cuz who is currently down under, "this is plush mate, this swank ay?"

Back to School - 05/01/06
Aw naw! it's back to the grind, no more Countdown [check the picture of Carol Vorderman in the banner, she looks like Evil Lynn from He-Man] now presented by Des Lynam, when I first seen that Des was at the helm I Thought "great! it's time the show was taken up a gear", in reality I think he's changed down a few, after watching I was crying out for a few jokes of a Richard Whiteley-calibre to liven things up, anything would have done, I think Channel 4 may have sedated Des, poor guy he's like a castrated St Bernard. I got an 8-letter word the other day too - CANOPIES - Get in!

I bought the new Strokes album, I really like the Strokes, I really liked their last album - Room on Fire despite the fact it was regarded as a poor follow up to Is This It? the first half of First Impressions of Earth is brilliant, they're sounding quite a bit edgier, they even sound a bit like Iggy and the Stooges from time to time. The second half of the album however, is a getting a bit too close to 'lame' frankly, might need a few more listens. Still, cannae wait to see them live, again! Check oot Gogs' review in the itunes music store.

Keep it Real - 02/01/06
Lets be 'avin ye then... Happy New Year! whatever happens let's hope 2006 is prosperous for mankind, planet earth and everything else we've exploited.