Bridgesquid - 21/06/07
Keltybridge is on the £1 note [not
pictured]
Serious? - 24/05/07
surely this can't
be serious, surely ay? what!? naw it just cannae be! is it? what? no! ay??
Lost Post - 14/05/07
My contact form [via the "email me" link above] had gone 'the way
of the pear' recently, I do apologise for this techno-buggery of the highest
order and invite you to try again, with many pleasant thanks.
Get Benched - 08/05/07
Oor neighbours awready think we're mental... so we don't have
much of a Garden up here but atleast we have yin, my special lady's been talking
recently of getting a bench so we can sit and chill oot in the back garden,
despite it's size, sort o' like making the best oot of a shite situation
likesay. Last night, during my nightly sneak around the neighbourhood, I
came across an auld piano [in bits, minus the keys] obviously getting chucked
oot. So I lifted a few panels including the lid bit [that normally would
cover the keys] and carried 'em back hame. This morning, in no less than
a couple o' hours, I knocked this baby
up. A bit church-pew like wouldn't you say? The novelty doesnae stop there,
the trick is, to lift the lid when you aren't using it, so any rain water
will run off the inside of the lid, leaving the sitting part and ultimately,
your arse dry. totally solid and totally free! my kind o' bench!
Rock Hurts - 07/05/07
firstly, big up fir big Eck Salmond... surin' there will be changes roond here...
here's hoping the ol' student loans will be completely erased and that the
basturt that is the coonsil tax, will be made a wee bit fairer for awb'dy
and a referendum on independence? Why not? it would very interesting, I don't
get the Lib Dems tho, they won't have a referendum on an issue they don't
believe in, surely that's for the Scottish folk to decide, what's liberal
or democratic about denying us that right?
2 Gigs please and I don't mean more dates for Hamper... i mean 2 gig of RAM through the mail as ordered from Crucial. I've been keeping my eyes on the prices for a while and I'm amazed at how much they've dropped. A year ago I was looking at payin' over 200 squids to uprgade my powerbook to it's maximum. I ordered 'em last week for a pitiful 70 squids all in, that won't seem like a big deal to most but for a kidd-on geek like myslef it means my complicator runs faster... much faster and after months of fist-bitingly slow performance it's good to step up a few gears... you'll be all the better or reading that... come 'ere, there's more...
New albums on the go at the mo: 23 by Blonde Redhead, Standing in the Way of Control by The Gossip and We Were Dead before The Ship Even Sank by Modest Mouse, who now termendously, have a certain Johnny Marr playin' geetar for 'em. Also, On The Cobbles by John Martyn and Strays by Jane's Addiction. awright the last 2 have been out for a while but I managaed to sneak copies o' these from my Uncle. I am particularly taken by the Jane's Addiction album... they sound like a pumped up version of [two of my favourite post-grungers] Sponge and Stone Temple Pilots... and boy, can the singer sing?... eh aye
Also rented 2 ace films recently, the Departed and Borat... now, it's probably uncool to admit to liking Borat [the movie] but I'd heard so much about it being so bad, that when I seen it, I thought it was hilarious, bordering on the gross and unnacceptable - totally my sense of humour. The Departed is fantastic and in my opinion Scorcese's best film since Goodfella's - it's really funny too, hats off to Nicholson, Baldwin and Di Capprio and that's not easy coming from a man [that's me] who's never really got Di Capprio in previous outings, he's good in Gilbert Grape but since then I've found him intensely annoying, The Departed makes up for it though, it might have something to do with him kickin' sh*t out of Matt Damon.
I attended a Birthday Bon fire the other night, I certainly enjoyed it, atleast the bits I can remember, I enjoyed. Atleast I've enjoyed trying to remember. Truly trollied, so I was and no thanks to Hamper! we were at a practice in Edinburgh which finished at 4pm, it was straight to the pub for a couple of pints, I hopped on the train at 6.30ish accompanied by 8 tins o' Stella - they certainly help make the journey fly by, entertaining me the whole way with tales of unfeasibly spicy food and wife battery. I arrived in Aberdeen 2 and-a-half sozzled hours later, where I hopped on a bus back to the flat where I picked up the ol' guitar or 'Amanda' as she was privately known. It was back on the number 19 to Bieldside, escorted by the remains of last week's case of Artois, again with familiar tales of self-inflicted spice punishment and Simple Minds-esque cliff top guitar solos. The rest is a shadowy blur, with flashes of shameful behaviour and bursts of bad language. My hands received a thorough bashing after losing the ol' plectrum and having to strum with fingers alone, I noticed the strings achieved a fine spattering of blood, see kids, don't get pissed, go to bonfires and play guitar without a plectrum. this is the result of a harsh Rock an' Roll weekend.
And to end this worthless and long overdue update, there is giggage of Hamper variety on the horizon, Sat 26th May in Edinburgh to be precise, check this ooot. Also, check vids and snaps from our recent tourings here... now if you'll excuse me, it's bath time.
Rock an' Bog Roll - 28/04/07
Gawn yersel' Sheryl
Crow! the folk of Leith and Fife are behind ye, all the
way
Changes afoot - 25/4/07
like there's any time tae spare - new tunage for your free doonloadin' pleasure:
here - aw naw
you, check yer choon... as they might have said... if myspace existed, mid-90's
Cowdenbeath... aye anyway... ay?
Aye Poddery - 31/03/07
Download an MP3 o' G's Milk Through The Fence recorded live and acoustic,
'right click' right here.
MacSmuggery - 28/03/07
As much as I agree with the sentiment of these ads, I cannae really cope with
Apple's smugness. I reckon they've got the creepiest guys doing it an' all.
The sooner they get Eddie and Ritchie
to do the MAC adds the better.
So, there's been a distinct lack of updates recently. I've been in Glasgow
for the last week workin' my bahookie off for hamper,
seem to be spending more and more time on it at the moment, what wi' the impending
'tour' an' all. Glasgow tho... I f*ckin love that place, the crack, the city,
the buzz, the swally. I
fired doon last tuesday night, we were expecting the delivery of wor CDs on
Wednesday but they didnae come till the Thurs, which was a blessing in disguise
as it took Louise and I five hours + to sort oot packaging and address up,
just shy of 100 send-oots. We've been compiling a contacts list of festival
organisers, journalists, radio presenters etc. - included was a few American
radio stations and a Canadian yin my bro got us a play on [he lives in Alberta].
There's also a chance we'll be played on Radio 1 this week! - a certain Colin
Murray who does a John peel-type show happened to be staying at our singer's
brother's Hotel in Edinburgh, so he slipped him one of our discs, he really
liked apparently and said he'll do his best to get it a play on his show -
that wid be mental!
I also had my own brush with stardom, as I spotted Franz Ferdinand's drummer
on Sauchiehall Street, I chased efter him and gave him a CD - he's a sound
bloke, was maybe a tad freaked by my approach but he said he'd make sure the
band hears it. Our singer apparently new Eck fae the Franz back when he was
in a band called The Blisters, hopefully he'll recognise her fizzogg fae the
single artwork and offer us a cheeky wee support slot or sumthin.
I think we played quite well at the Launch night - having a great soundcheck
helps tremendously it was at the
Capitol on Sauchihall Street. There was a
big turn oot and aff the back of scotland's victory [ya dancer ye!] the crowd
were pumped up, there was much drunkenness [not fae the bands, sadly] and few
spillages. We flogged quite a few CDs and made a tidy wee profit that will
go towards the running costs for the up-comin' tourage - I really cannae wait!
Back to Aberdeen in the meantime, I'm battling on with a few freelancey things,
despite havin' picked up a mingin cold. Hopefully a wee Guiness tonight will
sort that out.
Irrecoverable - 05/03/05
Can't believe I wasted 3 quarters-of-an-hour of my life lastnight watching
Baldrick and co. on Timeteam,
they blunder-dozed the longest 'trench' in Timeteam's history apparently,
and found absolutely f*ck all, I switched it on in the hope of a quick Roman
arrowhead or something, anything! at this rate I would have even settled
for some 18th century crockery, but it just wisnae to be, pure scunnered
so I wiz! the show runs for a full hour and I must admit, I got a perverse
pleasure changing channel and deliberately missing the concluding last quarter,
as far as I know the whole episode was a complete waste of everybody's time,
Phil must've been ragin!. To console myself, I done a bit of archaeology
myself - I switched over for an episode of Bullseye then
a double-bill of
The
Krypton Factor. Having been jist a wee lad the first time round, it was
a tad on the cringeworthy side to relive the true horror of 80's atire on
some of the Bullseye contestants and seeing what must have been seen
as cutting-edge design on the Krypton Factor. They showed a 'short drama'
as part of their 'continuity observation round' I totally recognised a young
Steve Coogan, he was doing a very shit impression of (apparently) Michael
Caine. I seem to remember particularly enjoying the military-style assault
course bit of the 'factor, man... I dunno why! they must have flown them
to the Falklands or some other sh*t hole for this bit, it's bleak! and the
contestants poncing about in them florescent track suits? man... how did
we make it this far? gee me "a bit o' bully" any
day!
Wullie, Won't He? - 01/03/07
clocked Scottish Football's Tom
Selleck the other night, "Mr Aberdeen" himself: Willie Miller in my local Somerfield, Special K and the Evening Express were
the order of the day, nae Fish
'n' Chips tonight then wullie? eh, no, not likely...
man what a mental couple o' weeks it's been. Travelled back in time to the 1940's, a couple o' weekends ago, to Denny of all places, for a cosy wee-knees up, in aid of an ol' art school buddy's 40th Burthday Party, I thought the 40's theme was a tenuous link at first, till I got there, it's like time stopped in Denny in the '40's, our friend merely wanted us to blend in. I couldnae believe my luck in finding a genuine WW2 Royal Armoured Corps uniform for the do, still wi' these dug-tags in the pocket, the previous owner obviously hadnae seen much action, it was immaculate, maybe he had a desk job... J MacKrory... your nation demands the truth
So Hamper's vid was completed, I still can't get over how cool it is and not just becuase I, the drummer have a starring role in it, that is a big factor of course! but it's so satisfying seeing it's viewing numbers overtake every video I've ever made and posted on the interweb, it's averaging 50 views a day, most of mine havnae seen 50 in total!. That's what happens when you get professionals to do the job. Stunnin' stuff, if ye havnae seen it awready, check it oot. We've completed the booking dates for our Easter Tour too, in some of the most mental places - Harris, Lewis, Benbecula - I aint never been to these places afore so it's gonnae be mindblowing. Folk on the outer hebrides are genuinely enthusiastic about the prospect of visitors, musical or not, I don't think I've been met with a warmer reception when contacting these folk, folk fae Skye are a different matter tho, hence why we aint playing there - thouroughly dingied!
St Johnstone fans have got themselves a semi?, I suppose as a slice of east-toast, I'll have to shout them on now, it was gonnae be Cowdenbeath but they failed miserably to the shitey Queen of the South.. ah well!
Couldnae believe it when one o' these plopped through my letterbox this morning. It's an iMic and it's tinsy! it's a device that allows you to plug in a guitar and/or microphone and/or other audio device into your computer, to use audio recording software, like the amazing Garageband for example. I bought this with cash I made from selling one of these bad boys [for a third of it's original price] on ebay. I bought this 2 years ago for more than 10 times what I paid for the iMic and all I really ever used it for was to plug my geetar/mic into my laptop - unbelievable ay? the value o' hings? what's even less believable is that punters will buy any ol' sh*t on ebay.
Lullaby - 24/02/06
Go see the video for Lullaby by Hamper now!
Nae Cigar - 14/02/07
not quite the booby prize but certainly not one the decent prizes. I came runner-up
in More4's political satire competition! - I win a copy of this book
- wooooo and if I'm not mistaken: hoooo! . Check the entries here.
Shot at the Pops - 14/02/07
"You Are Free..." rocketing up the charts! now at number 212 in Neil
Young's "Songs of the Times" - vote for it by clicking here.
Together Atlast - 08/02/07
"You Are Free When We Tell You" [along with a thousand other songs]
has been selected for Neil Young's "Songs Of The Times" check it
out and vote [by clicking on it] for it here If
you can't be arsed rooting or going Edit>Find, it's roughly about here on
the page.
Hamper Release! - 30/01/07
I am delighted to announce that Hamper's debut
single "Lullaby" will
be available to download from itunes and scotloads.co.uk from
Wednesday 15th March 2007. CD singles will be available via this website from
Monday 26th March. If you're in Glasgow and would like an early copy, get down
to our Launch which will take place at the Capitol, Sauchiehall St. on Saturday
24th March 2007. Hamper will play a live set, the night will also feature the
premiere showing of the video for “Lullaby” (shot on various locations in
and around Glasgow) by award winning film-makers Sven Frédérick
Werner and Andreas Kokott.
Round Two - 19/01/07
Screw earth let's fight in space
Going Nowhere, Fast - 17/01/07
Wake up, sit on arse, get in car, sit on arse, get to work,
sit on arse, at desk, all day, get up, sit on arse, drive
to gym, sit on arse, pedal like fuck, get back in car, back on arse, get
home, sit on couch, lie down, get to sleep.
Down with the Flag - 15/01/07
Seven years in the writing, two years in the recording, 3 laptop's later, 5
attempts at data recovery, months of rerecording, a gallon or trois of Stella
Artois, countless weeks of fannying around, one semi-acoustic, 3X9 volt batteries
later... ooh, the moans. Ooh, the screams. Ooh, the countless billions thrown
naked into the pit. At long fr*ggin' last... my album: Down
with the Flag.
That's Capitalism baby! - 12/01/07
Couldnae believe it when I heard that the bad news for
the Dundonian NCR workers was delivered by video. The boss didnae have the baws
to do it in person, a wise decision, as he would have found himself on the receiving
end of a thorough kicking.
Satan's Sea Men - 12/01/07
Talking of fellatio of a satanic persuasion, I wasnae so stunned to see the
Scotland Manager turning his back on his country for a lucrative contract
at Rangers. Nor was I taken aback to hear his
Becksness has opted for a fairytale retirment package at LA Galaxy [for a
tidy wee £128m reportedly 5 times
more than the rest of team PUT TOGETHER] - I reckon his Mrs must have swayed
that one. But let's not be kidding worselves, LA is the world's porn capital,
so keep you eyes peeled for 'Posh on Becks' the movie, cumming soon... ok,
I'll get my coat.
Double top - 09/01/07
I'll be rushing home tonight to catch the next nail-biting stage of the world
darts championship
currently being shown on BBC2, on my way I'll pick up 20 Silk Cut, an 8-pack
of John Smiffs and a deep-fried steak pie and chips from t' chipper... 'ang
on, I work from home you mappit!... and so we 'ad a cup o' tea... one 'undred
and aaayyytteeeeeeeee !
Newspeak Freaks - 07/01/06
Despite opposing punishment by death, there
is apparently,
a right and a wrong way to punish someone by death.
Pie Eye Pet - 05/01/07
Despite being the Heart Disease capitial of Europe, whatever you do today,
help save all the pies at Glasgow's the Horse Shoe bar, click here.
Happy New Year - 04/01/07
I do recall hearing Billy Connolly saying to an English audience, "Hogmany
in Scotland is like your Christmas without religion to knacker the proceedings" he's
absolutely right but what is it with Hogmanay? a night of drinking, celebrating
the fact that you're up way past your bedtime? sounds like every other friday
night to me!! Anyway, I hope wherever you were, that you had a cracker. Fir
once, Aberdeen was the party capital of Scotland but this year, we werenae
attending the street festivities - we went last year, it was awright, the proclaimers
were playing, it was free to get in but not surprisingly, it was also CARNAGE!
pissheeds everywhere, boaking, stottering falling over, it was like T in the
Park (and not just for the neds) meets Village of the Damned. The year afore
that I was in Stonehaven for the 'fire baws' [boiler-suit-clad locals swinging
fire on a rope roond their heeds - a stoney tradition of warding aff the evil
spirits!] it seemed most of my mates were attending this, again - I've seen
it wance and wance is enough. Instead I was invited to a shed in Bieldside
- it was a rare ol' time, or atleast that's what I've been told we had. I awoke
on 2nd of January after spending the previous 29 hours in bed, 18 of those
were spent unconsciously. I managed to squeeze in a couple of films, including Local
Hero which was absolutely brilliant by the way. The hangover was vicious
and there was nothing else for it but to spend a whole day in bed, I am however,
a wee bit annoyed I completely missed New Year's Day. Truthfully, I've no been
able to enjoy a proper bevvy during the recent festive patch, as I'm currently
on a prescription [penicillin for a gum infection] it doesn't say anywhere
that I can't drink while taking it, it says 'alcohol to be taken moderately'
and when I over do it I get a terrible belly ache. Admittedly anything that
keeps me aff the sauce can only be a good thing.
So the over-indulgence is over for another year and it's 'back to work' then, to be honest tho I've been doing a wee bit here and there through the holidays so I've no really been aff. I'm never really fully 'on' tho neither - I aint complaining.
Aye so another year and fae a man who can hardly plan a few hours in advance, another 365 days of promise puts the shits right up me. I know for a fact that this year will be a year of change - I'll be looking to abort the 'deen at the earliest opp. As a freelancer I can work anywhere especially when my 'professional relationships' exist entirely on the internet, over the phone and via her majesty's postal service. I am an electronic figment of my clients' imaginations, a sprite, the distinctly un-aberdonian voice at the end of the telephone, the key-tapper, the sender and receiver of reasonable and decidedly unreasonable requests. Me being in the 'deen at the moment is like me living in a dorm far from my family/band... and Hamper too.. dinnae get me started - this is gonnae be our year! as soon as that vid's edited!!
Wishin yez aw ra best for the year ahead - let's get it on!