I have to admit to having a passing admiration for the Stone Roses first time round and I remember clearly the day my older brought home the Second Coming on LP and playing it repeatedly, the tracks: “begging you” and “tears” being particular highlights. So when I heard they were reuniting I was pretty chuffed for them and for those of us old enough to remember them first time round, who may have felt a tad pissed off when they split. But like so many other bands that have done the same it will not be the same this time round… that’s not to say I won’t go and see them should they make it to Glasgow on their forthcoming ‘world tour’. When they did split most people’s money was probably on John Squire to make more of a success of himself but it turns out Ian Brown sold way more records than the shitey Seahorses ever did and THIS is a gem of a track off his first album [this version is especially good as the rhythm section is particularly prominent - and being a drummer of sorts - that is no bad thing]. Enjoy.
TweetEd Millhouse-Band
It started off as a simple exercise to illustrate the similarities I see between Ed Milliband MP and Millhouse from the Simpsons but ended up being something a lot more sinister. That’s Ed on the right by the way…
Fantastic out-of-work Mr Fox
Shouldn’t speak ill of the dead or indeed the unemployed but I couldn’t help myself with this swift bit o’ photyshop. I won’t be the only one celebrating as another shady Tory bites the dust…
More Power To Your Pencil
Dinnae Talk Siri
I was initially quite underwhelmed with the launch of the iPhone 4S, it seemed to just correct a lot of the bugs from the previous model such as loss of signal when holding it a certain way. That was until I heard about Siri – how cool would talking to your phone be instead of having to type everything…
“phone me a taxi when I get too pished and start making an arse of myself”
“remind me to clear out the empties afore the mrs gets hame”
“find me a florists nearby cos I’ve got some making up to do”
and then it dawned on me, will this thing, designed in California, understand the Scottish vernacular? not likely…
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Golden Archies
I’ve been sifting through an old external hard drive before I wipe it and use it for back-up purposes. 99.9% of it’s contents is utter pish but this was a pop-up card I made a few year back that didnae get the outing it deserved
Dirty tree and a turd
Today I celebrate being 33 and a third. And there was me thinking there wasn’t much to celebrate after turning 30… well this gettin’ auld malarky sure is full o’ surprises!
Double Dopple Dappy Gaga
Admittedly I’ve had an inkling for a while and for anyone that knows me, the likelihood of a celebrity posing as two or more different celebrities is precisely the sort of thing that keeps me up at night. After a shift that would have had Sherlock Holmes choking on his crack pipe, it would appear I’ve made an earth-shattering discovery.
Dappy, the brains behind N Dubz appears to be living a double life. Under that ridiculous hat lies the confused tiny mind of none other than Lady Gaga. It is clear from the photos above that they are the same person.
The revelation is particularly convenient for me as I can now direct all of my hate for the two celebrities at one person. Result!
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Facebook Fatigue
Jesus, why have I just logged in again? it’s starting to become a really bad habit, I don’t even realise I’m doing it sometimes. I start typing faceb… the browser does the rest, I log in, scroll through the ‘news feed’ see what my ‘friends’ are up to, I end up reading about friends of theirs, looking through photo albums of people I don’t know and before I know it I’ve lost half an hour but despite this I’ll do the same again tomorrow.
It’s handy for events and it’s handy for keeping in touch with friends/family that live overseas etc. but for the most part it is narcissistic drivel and it’s stealing our attention spans… and I really need to get a grip!
TweetWeegies
And by ‘weegie’ I don’t mean all Glaswegians but a very distinct kind of Glaswegian. The kind that nicked my girlfriend’s bike less than a month after she moved here. The kind that throw bottles in to crowds. The same kind that see no shame in randomly approaching you and asking you for a pound towards their bus fare and that is exactly my problem. I lived in Aberdeen for 7 years, Union Street was a favourite spot for those of the begging variety, some of whom genuinely looked homeless, I took pity on many an occasion and handed over some hard earned change. I always feel that if someone asks you for something, you should have the decency to acknowledge their existence, I watched a lot people ignoring these folk and that used to wind me up. Even if I have to explain I’ve nothing on me, I would do so. Or atleast I did.
A severely drunk, semi clad, sun burnt fuckwit came stumbling up to me the other evening, while I was using an ATM and said (cue talking out the side o’ your mouth in a winey weegie accent) “‘scuse me mate, d’ye want tae dae me a favour and tap us a quid?” I replied with “sorry, ah’ve no got any change” I then turned to walk away, he then muttered “Fuck you then”
2 weeks ago while enjoying a well earned week off, I was on Dumbarton Road with the mrs, we happened to be passing an estate agent’s window, so we gave the properties advertised a shuffty. Another guy walked up behind me and asked for ‘spare’ change, I said “sorry pal, I’ve nothing on me…” then he said “Naw just buying a hoose”
Aw, alright then, so it’s now the norm to receive wise cracks and/or abuse should you not hand over money after being asked. That’s it! no more mister nice guy, you weegies are getting ignored from now on…